Tuesday, December 21, 2010

What is Christmas supposed to "feel" like?

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Maybe. What does it feel like? I don't have that feeling that kid's have anymore. Santa who? I find myself so busy and so involved in making the everyday work that I haven't found that feeling quite like I used to. I am in the spirit but less enthusiastically, though that's not really a bad thing. I'm certainly no scrooge or grinch. I do think it has a lot to do with the house renovations. They are on hold for the holidays and a little more mulah AND I was so hoping to be in the new apartment by this holiday season. Because of the mess the renovations have generated I was not in the mood to decorate. I almost didn't put up a tree. GASP! But as the middle of December came and went, I started to feel bad. So I pulled out table top, pre-lit, fake tree that I had from my single, ready to mingle days and set it up with minimal ornaments....Very minimal. I bought some fake floral pointsettias and decorated my window boxes. I put up 2 stockings and called it a day. The star is lopsided and the ornaments lacking. The winter wind has knocked them about and they are a mess now.

Christmas has changed so much for me over the years. I'm not interested in gift giving. I'm not interested in the perfection of the whole thing. I want to teach my son that Christmas is more than just how many presents he gets. But I also am not the most religious of people either. I am an occasionally-practicing Catholic. I actually work for a Catholic institution and my son attends a Catholic school. For me a relationship with God is about spirituality and not institutions like and tithing. But I do value what religions stand for, most of the time. I'm just not always in agreement with how those values are manifested. So I stick to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That seems to be pretty standard no matter what you believe. If I walk into life with that mantra, I think I'll be ok and my son will be too.

With that said, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, HAPPY KWANZAA, HAPPY EVERYTHING. I guess this is what Christmas feels like this year. Maybe it will be something else next year.

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